I'm 31. Here's How I Would Retire Today On A 5% Yield That Grows Faster Than Inflation

Introduction Let me start with a confession. I cannot buy most of what I'm about to show you. What a way to start an article, right? I'm European, which means a large chunk of the American ETF universe is off-limits to me thanks to EU regulation. So this article is an experiment. Think ot it as a thought exercise with real July 2026 numbers. The question is simple: if I had full access to American ETFs and financial products, and I wanted to retire today, at 31, what would I actually build? Why write it anyway? Because the framework matters more than my personal situation. Most of you reading this are American. You can buy every single ticker in this piece. And the math I'm about to walk through applies to anyone who has ever asked the most important question in retirement planning: how much income do I need, and how do I make sure it's still enough in 20 years? Here's my personal setup because this piece only works if I'm honest about it. As some of you may know, I'm moving to Saranda, Albania. I own real estate there. My cost of living will be a fraction of what it is in the Netherlands. I've run my numbers many times, and the conclusion is always the same: if my net worth generates a net yield of 5.0%, I am completely set. I need nothing else. No paycheck. No side income. Nothing. I won't spend time on the Albanian tax situation because it's irrelevant for 95% of my readers. But the 5% number is the anchor of everything that follows, and I want you to find your own version of it before you buy a single share of anything. So let's start there, with a lesson I wish someone had taught me at 21 instead of 31.