Hyperscaler Earnings: 3 Weddings And A Funeral😉...And Elon's $240 TRILLION Fever Dreams😂🤣

OVERTURE: THREE WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL😉… AND Elon's $240 TRILLION Fever Dreams😂🤣 When Voyager turned around and took the Pale Blue Dot photograph in 1990, three of the four companies in this report did not exist. Amazon was four years away. Google was eight. Meta was fourteen. Only Microsoft was out there in the dark, selling floppy disks. Thirty-six years later, those same four companies spent ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY BILLION DOLLARS — in ninety days. Let me count that out loud, because your brain will not do it for you. That's $1.87 billion a day. Seventy-eight million dollars an hour. Roughly twenty-one thousand dollars every second , continuously, through every weekend and holiday of the quarter, while you slept 🤯 NASA's entire annual budget is about $25 billion. So four companies just spent about seven years of NASA in one fiscal quarter. On what? On teaching sand to think. And I want to be precise here, because it sounds like a metaphor and it is not: it is a description of a supply chain. Beach sand, melted to nine nines, etched with switches smaller than a virus, stacked in racks that each draw more power than a city block, cooled by water, fed by turbines with a four-year waiting list. Four earnings reports in four days. Three weddings and a funeral 😉 Hyperscaler Earnings Podcast 31% of all capex + R&D spending in the world is expected to come from the 6 hyperscalers in 2031. 1.8X more than the R&D of the EU, US and Chinese governements + all infrastructure spending from the G20. In 2027 hyperscaler growth spending surpasses growth spending of the G20. $21,000 per SECOND ov and $27,778 per second in the 2nd half of 2026 ($2.4 billion per day).er the last 6 months And other incredible fun facts about this quarter’s unprecedented hyperscaler earnings. THE THREE WEDDINGS Microsoft threw the wedding everyone hoped for. Azure grew 43% — ACCELERATING, after eight straight quarters of analysts confidently forecasting the slowdown that keeps not arriving. Operating margin went UP while capital spending rose 71%. Long-term debt went DOWN. And the backlog reached $678 billion, which is two full years of the entire company, already signed. Amazon threw the wedding where the caterer arrived with a fifty-three-billion-dollar cake nobody ordered. AWS grew 36.8%, its fastest in EIGHTEEN QUARTERS, at a $169 billion run rate — and the backlog hit $496 billion, up 36% in a single quarter. Then a non-operating mark on a private investment turned the headline EPS into a number you should not put in your model. We'll strip that down to $1.95 in Movement Three and show you why the real quarter was better than the fake one 😂 Alphabet threw the wedding with the receipts. Capital spending DOUBLED. The cloud backlog reached $514 billion — up from $106 billion a year ago (385% YoY growth). And the full-year capex guide got raised for the third quarter running, to $195–205 billion, with management saying 2027 will be higher still. AND THE FUNERAL Meta. Revenue accelerated to 28% growth — the FASTEST of the four — and operating income FELL 8%. Margin went from 43% to 31% in four quarters. Free cash flow: seven hundred eighty-four million dollars, on sixty billion of revenue. Capital spending consumed 97.5% of every operating dollar. But here's the thing about that funeral, and it's the most interesting sentence in this entire report: it wasn't for the company. It was for the margin. And Meta dug the grave itself. R&D went from 27% of revenue to 36% — deliberately, in one year, to buy a seat at the superintelligence table. Whether that was a burial or an investment is a question that resolves in 2027, not today 🙏 NOW LET ME TAKE A VICTORY LAP, BECAUSE I EARNED IT 😉 On June 26th I published the third installment of " Shut Up And Buy These 5 Smart Stocks And You'll Thank Me In A Year 😉😂🥳 " The first two nailed the exact bottoms of their corrections. Here is wh